Friday, December 11, 2009
Last night
I lay awake in bed
A million thoughts running through my mind
Memories flashing through one by one
The chronological sequence was jumbled up
Nevertheless,
each event that took place
All were of significance
No matter how big or small
Many ups & downs
But it was all worthwhile, I thought
As long as we were happy
Things you did or risked
those small little gestures
gifts
words
were never taken for granted
Appreciated,
but kept locked within the heart
2008 national day
i rmb about the exact time you risked your life to msg me
by lying.
I was watching the NDP on tv
&was happy to hear from you
Gradually, I fell asleep after hours of lying in bed
listening to the deafening silence
in the dark
(except for that one little bright moon shining through the windows)
when children were all asleep
& woke at 9 the next morning
thinking of you
How I wish I could convey all my thoughts to you
right now, right then
I'll pen all my thoughts down
& give it to you
But I guess I'll have to wait a little while longer.
A few months probably,
for the appropriate moment
Then again, I wonder if I'll be able to muster up the courage
When the day comes .
Maybe one day you'll get to see this,
or maybe I won't tell you about my blog at all.
How I wish I had not left things hanging & lingering
till this day
when we've become strangers.
yet, looking through the letters you wrote me,
only triggered more memories
that had been hidden somewhere in a corner of my mind
that had not yet been resurfaced.
After all,
Memories are fragmented.
They are meant to be make one
smile, laugh, cry
at the happy moments
the silly moments
& the 'what-if' that could have happened.
But it's impossible for one to hold on to every single memory,
yet I don't wish to forget even a small part
that had me smiling.
Forgetting parts of memories is inevitable.
(that's why I've been blogging so that one day i'll be able to look back on my school life)
So I shall now write them all down somewhere..
& add on whenever an old memory resurface.
somewhere only I can read.
Not everything is meant for sharing,
precious memories should be kept a secret b/w the ones you had them with.
I tried forgetting ever since no word came from you a year ago.
But I gave up trying.
now I want to begin relieving those moments we shared & pen them down
but somehow I'm at a loss as to where to begin
guess I can only think better at night in the dark and silence.
i guess i function better at night.
maybe it's me being PMS-y.
it's always during this period of the month that I dislike being a girl.
:(
I'm fine, really. (:
It's alright, it's okay :D
Just pending down my thoughts.
Not emo or whatever.
Just relieving memories.
Last but not least,
This lil monster
always shows up during my holidays
but never fail to escape when school starts.
Guess who?
.
.
.
Insomnia
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